Category: Humor

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Tidbits . . .

Almost every lecture has an interesting tidbit of information. For instance, yesterday I learned two interesting tidbits. First, I learned that grapefruit juice can enhance the effect of certain drugs metabolized by CYP3A4 (it does this by blocking the enzyme allowing more of the prescription drug to stay in circulation). Therefore, as future Doctors, we should keep this in mind and talk to patients about drinking grapefruit juice while taking prescription drugs metabolized by the CYP3A4 enzyme (over half of all prescription drugs today are metabolized by it). The other tidbit was on the lighter side . . .

Study tip: Turn off TV while you work

How not to study
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Back to the grind . . .

Well, it was nice having a change of pace this last week. There are so many things I learned and experienced, probably the funniest of which is that a doctor doesn’t say “Oh, wow!” or “Uh, oh.” Needless to say, I didn’t say “uh, oh” but I did have my fair share of “Oh, wow!”

It is incredible all the little things that doctors do every time they see us that we take for granted. I guess that is part of being an M1, you get to learn all those little things, especially not to say “Oh, wow!” ;-)

Eric

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Now just so that you don’t think . . .

that med school is all bad. Here are some names I had to memorize for exams next week.

Hedgehog, sonic hedgehog, indian hedgehog, and bone morphogenetic protein families are inducer molecules that cause cell differentiation through spatial signaling.

I wrote that statement and might have gotten it all wrong but it was sure fun memorizing those names. Especially thinking of the little cartoon character that in the video game (Sonic Hedgehog). I wonder how that inducer molecule got it’s name. :-)

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It’s not often . . .

It’s not often that you see something that so succinctly describes how you feel. Well yesterday, if you can imagine, I saw an ad by a future congressman (Vernon Robinson) from Virginia that did just that. See the ad for yourself.

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Governmentium

Got this in the e-mail and thought is was worth posting

New Element is Discovered

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.” Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.” When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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Stick it on . . .

Some times you might see a notible quote stuck to a car bumper. Here is a collection my sister sent me with some really funny ones.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
If it isn’t broken, fix it until it is.

  • Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
  • Never believe generalizations.
  • Vegitarian – Indian for bad hunter
  • Avoid alliterations always.
  • Know When to Say When
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • The control key on the keyboard does not work.
  • Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
  • On your mark, get set, go away!
  • I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
  • What would Scooby do?
  • Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
  • My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep.
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.
  • Old age comes at a bad time.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
  • To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
  • Driver carries no cash. He’s married.
  • Watch out for the idiot behind me.
  • Don’t believe everything you think.
  • Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
  • All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
  • Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.
  • If it isn’t broken, fix it until it is.
  • What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?
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Spontaneous Combustion

A while ago I heard on Paul Harvey that Woman were ~80% more likely to spontaneously burst into flames while pumping gas into their car. Later, I learned in my chemistry that one of the risk factors for Spontaneous Human Combustion was being a woman. I sorta laughed both off until I saw this while filling up my car.

As it turns out, woman are 80% more likely to reenter their car while filing up with gas. While reentering their car it is possible to have an undesired effect of generating static electricity while sliding across the seat. The net result of this static electricity with all the gas fumes is an explosion when the electricity is discharged on the pump handle as the first metal object touched.

Ouch.

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Rules of the Air

An e-mail I received from a friend reported that these rules appeared in the July ’04 issue of an Australian Aviation Magazine. They were so good, I just had to post them.

Stephanie, especially remember #3.

  1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
  2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
  3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
  1. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
  2. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  3. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
  4. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
  5. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
  6. Learn from the mistakes of others.
    You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
  7. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
  8. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
  9. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.
  10. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
  11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.
  12. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
    Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
  13. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
  14. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.
  15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
  16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
  17. Good judgment comes from experience.
    Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
  18. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
  19. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.
  20. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.
  21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.